A friend asked me why I decided to name my Juba Monitor
column and online blog “The Fierce ‘Junubiya’” she specifically asked “What
does Junubiya mean and why exactly?” I was speechless because my personal
history with that word “Junub” is very long, so I decided to share with all of
you my reasons as to why I chose to be the fierce “Junubiya”.
Junubiya comes from the Arabic word “Junub” which means South. In Arabic the reference of a word to a male and female are most of the time different, like for a male you’d say Junubi, and for a female you’d say Junubiya, while in English it is one word for both which is “Southerner”.
My history with the word “Junubiya began while I was in primary school. Back then the two Sudans weren’t yet seperated. My Northern Sudanese school mates used to insult me by calling me Junubiya, why? Because I looked different. My nappy short African hair made me look different, my dark skin made me look different, even my height to them was perceived to be very strange, so they used their opinions about my appearance against me. They used it to belittle me. And they allowed me for a period of my life think that I was ugly, just because I came from the South, to be more specific from South Sudan. Just like other people who can relate, I became insecure. I felt absolutely hurt when someone called me Junubiya which happened quite often. Thank God for my backbone, my parents, their strength made it easier. They reminded me to be proud of our rich heritage. Despite their strength, I still believed having nappy hair made me ugly, I believed having dark skin made me ugly, and I also believed that being tall made me ugly. Years later, I got over my insecurity and had started convincing myself that I’m beautiful because my parents told me so, that was my point of strength. Yet I think the weakness was still within me because when I looked at myself in the mirror I still saw the flaws, I still saw the ugly Junubiya.
Junubiya comes from the Arabic word “Junub” which means South. In Arabic the reference of a word to a male and female are most of the time different, like for a male you’d say Junubi, and for a female you’d say Junubiya, while in English it is one word for both which is “Southerner”.
My history with the word “Junubiya began while I was in primary school. Back then the two Sudans weren’t yet seperated. My Northern Sudanese school mates used to insult me by calling me Junubiya, why? Because I looked different. My nappy short African hair made me look different, my dark skin made me look different, even my height to them was perceived to be very strange, so they used their opinions about my appearance against me. They used it to belittle me. And they allowed me for a period of my life think that I was ugly, just because I came from the South, to be more specific from South Sudan. Just like other people who can relate, I became insecure. I felt absolutely hurt when someone called me Junubiya which happened quite often. Thank God for my backbone, my parents, their strength made it easier. They reminded me to be proud of our rich heritage. Despite their strength, I still believed having nappy hair made me ugly, I believed having dark skin made me ugly, and I also believed that being tall made me ugly. Years later, I got over my insecurity and had started convincing myself that I’m beautiful because my parents told me so, that was my point of strength. Yet I think the weakness was still within me because when I looked at myself in the mirror I still saw the flaws, I still saw the ugly Junubiya.
Few years later when I became a teenager, I saw South
Sudanese supermodel Alek Wek on the Vogue website. They called her beautiful,
gorgeous and they said her skin was flawless. I started seeing the beauty in me
because someone else found beauty in someone else who looked like me. I
remember during that time I started to change my perceptions about myself. I decided to take my “weaknesses” and make
them my strength. I started seeing unique instead of different, I started
seeing beauty instead of ugly, and I started seeing the beauty of my dark skin.
Little did I know that as I changed my perceptions I also began to change I
other peoples’ perceptions. They saw me
the way I started seeing myself: Confident, Embracing of my black skin, proud
of my short, natural, hair. I also didn’t mind being called a Junubiya anymore
because I knew I was a beautiful, unique, tall, strong African woman. Once I discovered
the beauty in me, I was only ashamed, ashamed that I ever thought God made a
mistake in creating this image of me.
Ashamed that I wasn’t proud to be a Junubiya at one point in my life.
And ashamed that I felt insecure being
an African beautiful woman.
And this is how the “The Fierce Junubiya” came about. Fierce:
thunderous, strong, confident etc… and Junubiya is who I am. I am nappy, I am tall, I am black, I am beautiful
and I am very proud. And I decided to create The Fierce Junubiya column and
blog to be a voice and empower other fierce Junubiyas. To help all of us see the beauty in our own beauty,
the beauty of being a Junubiya.
My name is Eva, I am Junubiya :)
xo
My name is Kwaci, I am Junubiya
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